Full disclosure … I am a pessimist. There, I said it. I have always been and probably always will be.
There isn’t much I can do about it, but this doesn’t mean that I am a negative person; you don’t have to be an optimist to find ways to be more positive in your life or at work. Pessimistic people can achieve this too. Being positive at work means being realistic about people, circumstances and situations, recognising both successes and setbacks.
Today July 8th 1918, an Austrian mortar shell exploded at Fossalta di Piave, northern Italy. Among the casualties and injured was an American Red Cross driver, severely wounded. The 19-year-old was transferred to the American Red Cross hospital in Milan where he underwent surgery and fell in love with his nurse. Their love affair was brief and he returned to Illinois in January 1919.
It is a nice little story, but you may be wondering why I am writing about this here. Well, simply because the American Red Cross driver was Ernest Hemingway, and 10 years later, Hemingway wrote about his experience in Italy, being wounded and falling in love, and became the great American novelist and journalist we know today.
The novel relating his Italian front experience was A Farewell to Arms.
When you are faced with a disappointment or a struggle, you may not turn it into a novel, but there are various ways you can turn that negative experience into a positive.
According to Canadian-American motivational speaker and self-development author Brian Tracy, “Negative emotions are the single biggest enemy that any of us have.”
So, the best way to overcome a negative situation is to keep a positive attitude.
Tracy suggests that anytime you feel negative, you say to yourself positive affirmations such as “I am responsible” over and over again.
So, how do we eliminate negativity from our lives?
Here are 5 rules you could try to live by:
Rule #1 - Be aware.
This is the first step. Disappointments and negative situations will happen; they are unavoidable. Once you have come to terms with that fact, you will be prepared to overcome issues when are faced with them. As for everything, recognising that you have a problem is half the battle. You surely know the saying, ‘when life gives you lemons, make lemonade! ‘
Rule #2 - Change your attitude.
Instead of reacting angrily, in a negative and counterproductive way, look at a negative event as an opportunity to learn and grow. Work on controlling the situation rather than letting the situation control your reaction. Albert Einstein said “In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” Focus on turning the negative situation into a positive for you and ultimately for the whole team instead of wasting your energy on negative response.
Rule #3 - Recognise your mistakes.
As Joseph Conrad put it “it’s only those who do nothing that makes no mistakes, I suppose.” We all do from time to time. We are only human, so when you make a mistake, own up to it, make sure you learn from it, don’t dwell on it and be proactive in the future instead of reacting to negative situations.
Rule #4 - Keep a positive view at all time.
Stay open about any situation or people. Don’t let a negative situation blur your judgement, and don’t jump to conclusions. It is often difficult to have a positive attitude when we are under pressure, so it is crucial that you learn to work under pressure and remain professional in your reactions to negative situations. Highlight your positive attitude with your actions and your words, and eliminate any negative thoughts triggered by a negative event.
Rule #5 - Take control.
Control your reactions so that you can regain the confidence to take positive actions. Remove your emotions from the situation, take a deep breath and think about how you are going to respond before you do. Reacting without pausing, in the heat of the moment will make matter worse.
Unless you are a happy-go-lucky kind of individual, or simply an optimistic person, who sees positive in everything, not letting yourself react negatively from time to time can be very difficult. Trying to change your outlook on life and remembering that there are events you simply can’t control, helps a lot.
Let’s focus on the things we can actually control, such as our own reactions to negative situations when they occur, and our lives will be more peaceful, easier and happier.
