823 years ago, today April 6th, Richard the Lionheart dies, having forgiven the French youth who, 12 days prior, had shot the arrow which would eventually kill him. Richard summoned the French man to ask him why he had wanted to kill him. The young man said it was because Richard’s men had killed his father and brother, and he wanted revenge. Perhaps feeling his end was near, and wanting to atone for his sins, Richard said: ‘Go forth in peace; I forgive you my death and will exact no revenge.’
Everyone has at one time or another, experienced pain, anger or hurt from someone, whom we cared enough about. Forgiving is essential for our well-being, and ultimately our happiness.
So, what is forgiveness?
Forgiveness can mean different things to different people, but generally psychologists define it as ‘a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness’.
Why am I writing about forgiveness today, you may ask? Simply because the act of forgiveness has many benefits, including as I discovered, physical ones such as lower blood pressure and improved heart health. But forgiveness is especially good for your health and peace of mind. For instance:
- Improved mental health
- Less anxiety and stress
- Fewer symptoms of depression
- Improved self-esteem
Forgiving doesn't mean forgetting, or excusing the hurt that was done to you, but it can bring a sense of peace, which will free you and help you move on with your life.
Today more than ever, we are living in uncertain times; we are seeing the beginning of the end of the Covid-19 crisis, but its effects on our lives and mental health can be ongoing. We worry about exponentially increasing living costs, our families’ safety and security, what is happening around the world, which may be far away from us but still causing us concerns and anxiety.
Forgiving is something we have control over, and it is one small thing, albeit difficult one sometimes, which we can do to lessen our stress and anxiety, and improve our well-being.
Incidentally, Richard the Lionheart’s army captains ignored his forgiveness and had the young man flayed alive and hanged. So goes life.
Take care of yourselves and be good to one another.
